A dog-like faith…

This print of Andrew Wyeth’s “Master Bedroom”  has traveled with me for over two decades and has hung in five homes, in three different towns.   It always seems to call me back to being a better person. 

If I could only display the same loyalty towards Christ and His teachings that my dog displays towards me.  The same joy at hearing my master’s voice.  The same excitement to spend time in my master’s presence.  The same compassion for and interest in my master’s actions.  The same sense of  peace knowing my master’s identity. 

House-broken, but still in training, RT.

Struggling with the whole forgiveness thing.

Where do I start?  The obvious answer would be at the beginning, but that is not where I am at.  It isn’t so much about the perceived wrong as it is about doing the perceived right thing to do; forgive.  And that is where my struggle begins.

I pray that most dangerous of dangerous prayers almost every Sunday.  You know the one: the Lord’s prayer.  I call it dangerous because if I am going to be forgiven as I forgive others, woe be unto me.  I think I am past something and then it raises it’s ugly head again.  Those same old feelings of hurt, fear, and anger come flooding in.  I was wronged and I have the right to hold a grudge and withhold forgiveness, right?  Well, I guess I have the right, but at what cost? 

Will I be forgiven in accordance to my ability to forgive?  O’God I hope not.  So that brings me to this: is human forgiveness for the sinner or for the one sinned against?  Didn’t Christ pay the ultimate price for my, your, our sins?  So that would mean that the one/ones who I perceive have sinned against me have already been forgiven through Christ’s sacrifice.  They don’t need my forgiveness, but I do.

Wrestling with it all, RT.

Taser Twits (Part Duh)

If you have been with me from the beginning of this blog you may have read “Taser Twits”  a blog I posted early on.  Well, I recieved the following email recently and laughed so hard I think I pulled something as I read it.  I don’t know the author, but my thanks go out to him or her.  Enjoy: 

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety….??

WAY TOO COOL!  Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.  I loaded two AAA batteries i n the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing!

 I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!  Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

 Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?  There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.  I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

 So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.  The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

 All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5′ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’

 What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best…?

 I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her h ea d cocked to one side as to say, ‘don’t do it dipshit,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

 I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

 The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

 Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself!  You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.  My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my nuts and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
‘If you think education is difficult, try being stupid.’

 

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did, RT.

Reflections on Advent

Now, I realize Advent season has come and gone, but now is a good time to reflect on the Christmas of recent past….Secularly, advent is defined as the coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important, such as the advent of the computer.  In Christian circles, advent is supposed to be a time of preparation for the Second Coming while commemorating the First Coming of Christ at Christmas.  Looking back I  just have to wonder exactly what we were looking forward to?    Was it the annual return of  jolly Ole’ Saint Nick with his naughty and nice list or was it the risen Christ with His naughty and nice list?  Observation would tell me that we as a nation were waiting for the return of the one in the red suit with boots, not the One in the tattered robe and dusty sandals. 

And why not?  The guy in the red suit is a lot easier to like.  He gives immediate, tangible gifts to everyone, no matter whether naughty or nice from what I can see.   It is sort of like Wall Street and the government bailout or Obama and his promise of “incentives”, it doesn’t really matter if you behave ethically or not; you still get a gift.  Christ has a gift to offer as well, however His may not seem so immediate or tangible.  His gift was Himself and our salvation.  Tragically, many are lured away by the promise of the emperor’s coin. 

I wonder what the exchange rate is at Heaven’s gate? 

Looking and praying for Advent, RT.

Day One

My morning reading came from Genesis 1 verses 3-5  today.   The Message translation is as follows:   God spoke: “Light!” And light appeared. God saw that light was good and separated light from dark. God named the light Day, he named the dark Night. It was evening, it was morning— Day One.

Now, I have read this passage many times before, but today I had an epiphany of sorts: the order of Day One.  “It was evening, it was morning- Day One.”  Upon further reading, that was the order of all the days in Genesis One.  Do you realize what this means?  We have gotten it wrong all along; our collective cognitive chronological clock is off by 12 hours.  Can you imagine the implications of this revelation?  Does that mean all the times we thought we were watching Monday night football it was actually Tuesday morning football?  And what about my formative years; were those Saturday night cartoons instead of Saturday morning cartoons? Just the thought of this whole time-shift thing makes my head swim.

But seriously, in Light of the season we have just finished (and should still be) celebrating, look at Christ’s chronology condensed: Born in a manger, lived as a poor carpenter’s son, studied and taught God’s will, was crucified, rose from the dead and ascended into heaven.  When I think about it Christ life fits this pattern.  I would consider being born in a filthy animal stable fairly dark…kind of like dusk or early evening.  Christ’s evening continued throughout His life until it reached complete darkness with His persecution and crucifixion.  I don’t know about you, but I would call that the dark of night.  Thank God though for early light of Sunday morning and the resurrection!  I am sure that it was a very bright morning indeed, but I think that the brightest part of Christ’s day is yet to come.  His brilliance and all of His glory will be revealed at His Second Coming!  Hallelujah! 

How does this new time strategy fit with our lives?  We are born into a dark world with the only beams of authentic Light coming from followers of Christ.  Couldn’t this be considered our evening?  Sadly, we often don’t truly accept Christ until we reach the lowest point in our life; isn’t that the dark of our night?  Stick with me here, our salvation then could be seen as dawn bringing morning’s (Christ’s) light.  Then our own death, instead of a dark time is actually the brightness of mid-day’s sun for the believer.  A time when we will see the radiant glory of God Himself.

I am thankful that whether we are in the dimming light of evening or the pitch blackness of night, morning is just a prayer away.  And whether we are in the burgeoning light of early morning or nearing the brightest part of our day, we haven’t seen the purest Light yet.

Enjoying my new day. RT.